Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill
Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the
proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave
him an A+ for this report:
Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99
Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.
Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing
_____________________________________________
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
and for us Canucks...:
Martin, Harper and Layton are flying on the Executive Airbus to a
gathering in British Columbia when Martin turns to Harper and says,
chuckling, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right
now and make someone very happy."
Harper shrugs and replies, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the
window and make ten people happy."
Not to be outdone, Layton says, "Well I could throw a hundred $10 bills
out the window and make a hundred people happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses
back there. Hell, I could throw all three of them out the window and
make 32 million people happy."
[img]wink.gif[/img]
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't think you even have to be Canadian to appreciate that one! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]Originally posted by Peeker:
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses
back there. Hell, I could throw all three of them out the window and
make 32 million people happy."
A guy with a speaking problems goes to the drugstore..
Guy: "Gi..gi..gi..gi..giv...give mmm...mmm..mmm...mee...ME...a..a..a..bo..bobo..bob o..BOX..o..oo..oo...offf...OF...ci..ciii..ciiiga.. .ciigaga...ciiigaga....CIGARS !!!
Clerk: (The guy was thinking in something else) Sorry, what ?
Guy: Yo...yo..yourrrr....yourrrr...mo..momo...momo...MO THER !!!
[img]confused.gif[/img]
[img]eek.gif[/img]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
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